Witty
Here is the wittiest thing I have ever thought or will ever think. It is almost noon on January 6th, and I am 22 years old.
Context: a motorcycle pulls up across the street from me, and its owner gets off an walks into the dive bar adjacent. When I next look over, there are literally dozens of motorcycles lined up in the parking lot. They've multiplied in a way only motorcycles can.
The Thought: unmanned motorcycles in dive bar parking lots are like rare strains of testicular cancer - once you've noticed them, they've already set about metastasizing rapidly, and, unless you're Lance Armstrong, you can't beat them.
Additional context: Lance Armstrong both beat a rare strain of testicular cancer that, like motorcycles in a parking lot, snuck up on him, but is a WORLD CHAMPION BICYCLIST, MEANING HE COULD CONCEIVABLY BEAT A MOTORCYCLE IN A RACE, PARTICULARLY IF THE MOTORCYCLE WAS A HONDA OR SOMETHING.
I've been prouder of myself than I am now, but never while wearing pants.
Context: a motorcycle pulls up across the street from me, and its owner gets off an walks into the dive bar adjacent. When I next look over, there are literally dozens of motorcycles lined up in the parking lot. They've multiplied in a way only motorcycles can.
The Thought: unmanned motorcycles in dive bar parking lots are like rare strains of testicular cancer - once you've noticed them, they've already set about metastasizing rapidly, and, unless you're Lance Armstrong, you can't beat them.
Additional context: Lance Armstrong both beat a rare strain of testicular cancer that, like motorcycles in a parking lot, snuck up on him, but is a WORLD CHAMPION BICYCLIST, MEANING HE COULD CONCEIVABLY BEAT A MOTORCYCLE IN A RACE, PARTICULARLY IF THE MOTORCYCLE WAS A HONDA OR SOMETHING.
I've been prouder of myself than I am now, but never while wearing pants.
posted by Jeremy at 11:57 AM
1 Comments:
no. the wittiest thing jeremy has ever said has been about mummies. to be more specific, mummies in space. i can't be more specific than that though, becuause to explain it in anything other than jeremy's exact words would be both stupid and impossible.
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