New Zealand By The Numbers

Bungy Jumps: 5

CanyonSwings (Like Bungyjumps, except sexier): 2

Skydives: 1

Whitewater Rafting: 2

Times Smacked Right the Fuck in the Fucking Nose while Whitewater Rafting: Once

Pain?: You bet. I mean , 7.

Caving: 1

Canyoning: 1

Hanggliding: 1

Meat Pies: 34

Meat Pies comprised of Animals You Probably Find Adorable: 1

Jetboating: 1

Brewery Tours: 2

Cadbury Factory Tour: 1

CADBURY TOUR! CHOCOLATE!!! IS SO GOOD!: 1

Hit on by muppet: 1

Not hit on by muppet: 0

Multi-Day Hikes: 4 1/2

Hikes, Total: 14

Calves: a beautficul combination of steel and butter. Think about it. Welcome to my life.

Kiwi Expressions Adopted into Day to Day Use: 7
Laundry?: 1

Ozzy: Only 1 Ozzy. I miss you, Sugarbear.

Bevo: 1. Bevo was a space ship

Kilometers traveled: Over 10,000.

Number of times Joel told a drunk 17 yr. old who had just walked into a wall while trying to make her way to her dorm room "that's a wall": 1

Times listened to New Zealand's favorite goddamn song, "It Don't Matter": 146

Nights spent sleeping in the back of a van: 3.

Price of scotch on St Patrick's Day in Wellington: $2.50 NZ.

Whether or not that pricing is dangerous: "That's a wall."

Photos taken: in the thousands.

Wallabies fed: 12.

Hostels visited: 132.

Amount I am paying for wireless internet right now?: $16.50